Life and Death

I've lost 2 relatives this year. First, my mom's brother died on Memorial Day. Then my grandfather passed away this week. My Uncle Wilson was 85 years old, and my grandfather would have been 99 in December. My husband's great aunt also passed away this week. She was also 98 years old. I'm so thankful that each of them lived such long full lives, but it's got me thinking. Why is it some people live such long lives, while others are taken from us far too soon? Life is definitely a mystery that way. No one knows how much time we have here on earth. You hear songs about live like you're dying and sayings like live each day as if it were your last, but how many of us really live that way? If I knew today was my last day would I really be typing this entry right now? Maybe. I probably would post something for my family to remember me by. I'd thank the people who loved me and stood by me. I'd tell the people I loved that I loved them. Maybe even throw in a few stories for people to remember. That's brings me to something else I've been thinking. If I died right now, exactly how would people remember me? Would I be remembered as a brat, or an even worse b-word? Would people remember me as sweet and quiet, or rude and loud? I think there are so many sides to people and maybe we only share certain sides to certain people. But doesn't everyone deserve your best side all the time? Wouldn't it be horrible to be nasty to someone then that is the last time they see you and ultimately how they remember you? So, not only should you live each day as if it were your last, but you should also live your life the way you want to be remembered for. I guess there's nothing like death to put life in prospective. Off to make each day count and 1) live today like it's my last and 2) live the life I want to be remembered for. By the way, if you're reading this post then chances are we know each other and hopefully like each other, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say "I love you, and I appreciate you for taking the time to read this post".

Photo: taken 12/19/2010. 4 generations of LeBlanc men. My grandfather is 2nd from left. It was his 98th birthday, and my nephew Luke's 2nd birthday.

July 25th is...

one of my favorite days of the year. It's the day John and I got married. Wow, hard to imagine it's been 19 years already. As I was looking through my photos I realized John and I don't have very many photos of just us together. I've got photos with him and the kids, me and the kids, but not many of just John and I. What's up with that? Samantha and Benjamin both have cameras, plus they are always wanting to snap pictures with my camera. I think the new rule is gonna be if they want to use my camera they're gonna have to take a pictures of John and I first. We need more photos together. The photo here is the last photo I could find of us together. The date? 12/31/2009. How sad is that? Surely it hasn't been 1.5 years since the 2 of us have had a picture taken of just the 2 of us? Well, that's just not acceptable. We're gonna have to change that and I think we'll start tonight. We're planning on going out to supper to celebrate our anniversary and I think it's time John and I start sitting on the same side of the dinner table and the kids can snap a photo of us. Maybe that can be a new tradition. At least that way we're guaranteed at least 1 photo of us together each year. Yep, I like the sound of that.

What are YOU good at?

I can't help but think of Fiona Apple's song "Criminal" because I've been a bad, bad girl and I'm looking for a good defense. I can't believe it's been almost 5 months since I've blogged. Bad blogger, bad. I have been so lazy lately. I haven't been blogging, or doing anything creative lately, and I really do miss it. I have to get out of this creative funk I'm in. I need to stop thinking so much and just do it. Recently I picked up my treadmill habit and as I was walking and listening to Abra Moore I was thinking... "Man, I wish I could sing, I wish I could play guitar" and the wishing continued. I wished I was good at a sport, any sport. I wished I could draw and paint. I wished I could cook and bake. And I continued to wish I could do various things. Then I realized what I was really thinking was I wished I was good at something. I wished I was good at anything. It really got me thinking and the only thing I could think of that I was really good at was my job. It was kinda depressing. Don't get me wrong, I'm really happy I'm good at my job and that I have an amazing work ethic (thanks Dad!) but is it so wrong to wish I was good at something fun? Something creative. Aren't most people good at their hobbies? I've got so many hobbies and I don't think I'm good at any of them. I enjoy them, but they don't come easy. I'd like to think that's why I enjoy them, because I really have to work at them, but I'm not sure that's the case. I'll have to give this topic a bit more consideration. In the mean time, I'll be looking for something that comes easy to me, and something that I enjoy that I'm really good at. Maybe I just haven't found what I'm good at yet?

Feb 18th, I HATE YOU!

I hate Feb 18th. Yes, I know hate is a strong word, and it might sound strange to hate a date, but not if it's a day a loved one died. This date will be a constant reminder that my Mom is gone. 7 years ago, Feb 18th took someone very special away from me. I will never again be able to hug and kiss, or ask my mom for advice.

I was 35 years old and 7 months pregnant for Benjamin. My mom was 35 when she had me. She was 69 when she died and I was born in 1969. It was 6 months before her 70th birthday and 8 months after celebrating her 50th wedding anniversary.
I know I should be thankful I had her for 35 years. There's a lot of people who lose their mothers at a much younger age, but not having a mom SUCKS. I miss her and think of her often. It just doesn't seem fair that people have to die. It's hard sometimes to look at the bigger picture. Life is not about the here and now, it's about the here after. It's not about this life, it's about preparing for the afterlife. I know this, and it does give me a sense of peace, but I still miss her dearly.

SMASH video

This looks amazing. I can't wait to start smashing...

Welcome 2011

Wow, where has the time gone? I can't believe I haven't posted since Aug. Sorry about that. Well, it's a new year so you know what that means. It means another chance to say you're going to do something you should have already been doing anyway. LOL. So many people (myself included) say they are going to lose weight, start exercising, eat right, etc. We do know we can start doing that any time, right? There's not some written rule that says we have to wait until the New Year, right?! Another one of my NYRs is to give my lonely little blog some much needed attention. If I'm not mistaken that was one of my NYRs last year, too. Geesh, get with it woman. Sorry for the rambling post, but I really don't have anything to write about at this time, but I find that the more I blog the more I want to blog. Hopefully this post will be the kick in the pants I'm hoping it will be to get my creative juices flowing. I haven't created anything in forever. I had a very unproductive 20101. Guess it's time to turn off the TV and wean myself from Facebook, my 2 time thieves. Gonna try to be more creative in 2011. Here's to a happier, healthier, more creative 2011.

Photo: Taken 12/29/2010; Audubon Zoo; New Orleans, LA